Dops of Red
by thelittlepixie16
Summary: Cutting i a serious problem. Alice Cullen cuts because of her friends. or so called friends for that matter. can the people who love her save her before it gets bad? please read beter then it sounds! t for cutting and cussing, suicide.
1. Chapter 1

Hey,I have writers block for life goes on but this has been in my head for a while now and I think a serious thing. Cutting is something that people call 'emo' is it really? Before u make judges on people think about what could happen to them. What you say could lead them to it or something worse. There in 8th grade. This is a one-shot but if u guys think I should continue comment and tell me.

_**Apov**_

I walked down the hall with Rosalie Hale talking about how much of a bitch our Spanish teacher is. We have to write a 4 page Essay on why we should learn Spanish _in _Spanish due next week. It was Friday and only one period until the weekend and Rose and I were planning what we were going to on presidents day when.

"Movies?" I Suggested

"Yeah that new Johnny Depp movie looks good, you know the one with Jolie?" Rose said. I nodded, "Se ya Monday Al!" Rose smile as she walked into her English class. I ended up stuck behind some of my friends or so I thought.

"Is Alice going to the youth group thing tonight?" Bella Sawn asked Tanya Denali.

"No, she rather go to middle school madness." Tanya said with Venom. So what is I didn't go to the youth group thing? I like dancing I've been since I was 3, it's so much fun and the last time I went I was invisible to everyone but my best-guy friend Emmett McCarty. He was the only one who talked to me there. Things have been tense in my group of friends since the sixth grade. My dad got tickets to see Taylor swift with a friend and I took my friend Angela Weber, and after that they all started distancing me. Never saved me a seat at lunch, They Stopped texting me, ignored me when I tried to talk to them. I really didn't know what was up.

"She such a Slut, all she does is dance with Rose like a bunch of whores." I heard Bella say, I do not! Rose and I are the only ones who want to dance and not sit in a corner and talk. We are not sluts or whores!

"She thinks she so hot when really she's uglier than shit, and she's fat why do think she doesn't were _Hollister _and_ Aeropostale?" _Tanya said_, "_And a wannabee!" she added. I looked down at my myself. I was had a little bit of fat on me but all my friends are like anorexic. All they eat is yogurt. I can fit into Aero's clothes their just plain. I prefer DEliA'S more. I just think their clothes are prettier plus I'm not a wannabee. They have been my friends since elementary school.

"Yeah and Rosalie is so annoying just like Alice. No wonder their friends, strange and stranger." Bella said, and the both of them are queer."

How could they say these things about me? I reached my math class and took my seat in the back. I tried to keep the tears from falling; I didn't want my Emmett, or Masen to see. Masen was this guy who sits in front of me and talks to me during math. Or Jasper Hale Rose's twin brother, Jasper Hale is the most popular guy at school and my current crush. We emailed during the summer then he told me who he liked, he like Jessica Stanley, the class bitch.

Math passed and the final bell rang for the day. I quickly got to my locker not bothering to wait up for Em or Rose. Emmett and Rose were also together and on Fridays they include me in their dates which I thought was sweet. I got home and headed for my room until my older brother Edward stopped me.

"Ali why are you crying?" he asked me.

"I'm not." I took out my cell phone and set it down on the table.

"Yes you are. Look I have time before I go out with Bella if you wanna talk." I cringed at hearing her name. Edward and Bella were also going out which made me the only one without a boyfriend.

"What did she do?" he asked. Why does he care? He never did before.

"I heard her and Tanya calling me a fat, ugly ho, a wannabee, a slut, and she called me and Rose queer!" I cried into his chest. Sometimes I love having Edward around.

"Ali your nothing of those things trust me. I don't believe Bella said those things. You guys have been friends since forever. Tanya maybe I could he those things from because she jealous.

"She did! Eddie!" I sobbed he hated when I called him Eddie but he didn't say anything.

"What Happened Alice?" I heard my mom, Esme walk into the kitchen with a bag of groceries Followed by my dad Carlisle. He was a doctor but was allowed to leave early to take Rose, Em, and I to see Harry Potter again.

"Alice says that Bella and Tanya called her a slut, ho, fat and queer. I don't believe Bella would say that." Edward told our parents.

"That bitch." Esme said, "Ali u should drop them."

'I can't, they don't know I overheard. Then it will give them more reasons to talk about me. It's bad enough I called pixie, or shorty by other people. They used to be so nice, and they are when I'm around. They'll get suspicious!" I said. All I wanted was to go upstairs.

"Ali you're none of that. Edward don't mention this to Bella." Dad said. We nodded and I went upstairs.

When I got to my room, I turned on my IPod and blasted I See Star's song _End of the World Party._ It was scremo but I didn't care. I looked over to my desk and saw a pair of scissors .had to finish. _No Alice people will notice and you will be considered emo. _My brain screamed at me. _Holding it in any longer and you'll go crazy_; _the pain will only get worse._ My heart screamed.

I took the scissors, rolled up my long sleeve and scratch my arm. Again and again, the pain seemed to go away with every swipe of the blade. Blood started to come out. I kinda liked seeing the blood; it told me that I was alive. Weird enough plumb's song 'cut' came on. I could relate to it so fricken well. I went into the bathroom and washed the blood away and put a huge band-aid on so no one could see the blood. Ironically, I felt so much better. I felt happier and more calm the ever.

_Drops of red fall to the floor._

_Drops of red come from a fragile soul too broken to save._

_It's the only thing that makes her feel alive_

_Seeing the red liquid helps her to see that she is a person and not invisible, that's she's real._

_Drops of red make her feel O.K._

Ok. So what do you think? It's a serious problem and I wanted you to see into the mind of a cutter, they don't do it for attention, they do it to feel better about themselves. R&R if u think I should continue.

~thelittlepixie13


	2. Chapter 2

I will continue it! here it goes:

**Jpov**

"Yo Emm!" I called out to friend Emmett McCarty.

"Hey bro what's goin on?" he asked me back, "did u ever ask out Jessica?"

"No, I kinda like someone else more now. Besides she was last summer." I said back.

We walked into math, I sat down and looked over to Alice Cullen. She didn't look as Happy as she normally does. She laughed and smiled but it all seemed fake. How do I know this? Rosalie, my twin is best friends with her and all the nights she's spent over at my house you pick up things like that. Shes the reason I stopped liking Jessica. I told Alice that I like Jessica when we were emailing, but after the long conversation we had I started to like Alice more. She's real; she's not fake like the other girls are. Plus she's prettier than the other girl, well her and my sister. The teacher started talking and I had to turn my attention to the teacher, I gotta keep up my straight A reputation.

The bell rang and I saw Alice bolt out of class before I could ask her something.

"Alice!" I yelled but Jessica stood in my way

"Hey Jasper!" Jessica smiled

"Hey, uh can I get to my locker? Your kinda in the way." I made a 'move over' sign with my hand.

"Oh yeah sorry about that. I was wondering do you want to go out tonight?" she asked me

"Sorry, I have to finish my history project." I made an excuse even though its not due for another two weeks.

"oh, well I have homework so how bout we do it together then?" she asked, oh my fricken god will she just leave me the freak alone?

"I like doing my homework by myself." I shut my locker, "By Jessica." I made my way down the stairs into the main lobby, where I saw Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett was way too close to her, practically on top of her. I've gotten suspended for beating this one guy up because he broke her heart last fall. I'm a protective brother sue me.

"Emmett you a little too close to my little sister there buddy." I told him and he moved away but still holding on to her hand.

"Jazz we're twin's dumbass" smart ass Rose replied.

"I'm older by 10 hours, so you are the little sister and I'm the older brother. So ha!" I smiled. My southern drawl started to come out. We were born in Texas and moved to Forks in first grade.

"Whatever Jazz, Have you seen Ali?" Rose asked me

"Nope, bout to ask you that too." I replied.

"Hey Jazz!" I heard Bella Swan call my name. I turned around and speak of the devil

"Hey do you know if there's middle school madness tonight?" she asked me

"nope next week" I said.

"ok, thanks." She walked away.

"See Bella Alice is a liar and a loner she never wants to have fun. That bitch doesn't know what fun is." I overheard Tanya say to Bella. I wanted to turn around and cuss them out but I knew better.

"Ok then I'm going to go, bye guys." I departed with Rosalie and Emmett. A soon as I turned around Emmett was back too close to Rosie, his had too close to her but.

"Emmett McCarty don't think I don't see you!" I yelled with a smile

"Duck you!" Emmett said. We don't use the f-word but words similar to it though.

"walked a little farther then I pulled out my cell phone and called Alice.

"Hey you've reached Alice, my phones probably on silent or vibrate and I didn't hear it cuz my phone doesn't vibrate anymore. So leave a message and I'll call you back!" Alice Voice mail said, there was an extra part to it, said by none other than my sister, "especially if your hot!"  
"Rose!" then the phone beeped.

I pressed end and continued walking home. As soon as I got their I went up to my room and played my ipod. Ronnie Dunn's song "Bleed Red" came on as I logged into "Facebook". Did the birthday thing and looked for someone to chat with. I was hoping Alice was on and she was! Thank god! (Alice bold& Jasper slanted)

_Hey_

**Hey**

_Who do u have 4 history?_

_Cool me too. R u good in his class?_

**Yeah, I love history its so easy!**

_I need help with the project, can u help me?_

**What topic r u doin?**

_Oh so ur only good in certain topics?_

**Kinda yea, haha**

_Civil war battles_

**I'm doin that too! Im awesome at the civil war**

_R they like the only books you read?_

**Hell no. I read books about smexi vampires too ;) and the claasics**

_Omg Alice u need help for ur twilight addiction, Rose has got too :O_

**Nice smiley u got their **** and im into Harry potter more then twilight 4 ur info!**

_It was a joke! Chillax!_

**Srry, im so moody today, its not what u think tho.**

_anyway r u willing to help me in my project?_

**Tonight?**

_No, I mean next month, yes today!_

**And u say I need a chillpill. **

_Meet me the library 6._

**Kk**

I logged off and took a shower and but some decent clothes on. What if this was a date? Hopefully. I walked out the doors to see Alice.

**Apov**

I can't believe what the hell I got myself into. I need something to cover my scars. I looked around the room and saw my 'I love boobies'bracelet, my 'to write love on her arms' bracelet and my 'mayday parade bracelet. I put them on. Perfect! I had to cancel my plans with Rose. (Alice bold & Rose slanted.)

**I can't go to night srry!**

_How come? Your not goin and meeting some random guy and gonna go get it on r u?_

**WTF? Nooooo. Only you Rose would do that. No Jasper asked me to help him on his history project eep!**

_Jasper, Japer Hale, MY Jasper Hale?_

**No Jackson Rathbone idot.**

_Haha, I wouldn't mind doin him ;)_

**Eww rose hes like 24! You brother Jasper smart one, I'm goin to the library with him in in an hour**

_Bahaha. Stay away from the sinks and the toilets. The counters ok tho._

**? WTF r u doin in the library bathroom?**

_In case you guys need some where private to go ;) I've had one or two good make-out sessions w/Em in there ;)_

**Thank you for the mental pic. Ewww. I g2g, ttyl**

I logged out and picked out a purple baby doll top. I had my bracelets to cover the cuts, I'm so smart! My dad knocked on the door.

"Ali can I come in?" he asked

"yep." I said popping the 'p'. Dad came in and sat on the bed.

"You look nice. Are u going out with any boys? Are you even going with Em and Rose?" he asked me.

"No dad! Jasper Hale wants my help on a school project and I told him I would help. I'm going to the library.

"So Jasper Hale's not a boy?" he jokingly asked me.

"Dad you're not cool. Bye I'll be back later" I walked down stairs, grabbed my bike and sped off to the library.

That's all I'll put for chapter 2. I'll starting writng chapter 3 once I post this. I just really wanted to get this up.

~thelittlepixie13


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: if you are a Steelers fan be nice because there will be something about the Steelers that is not nice! **

**Jpov**

I got to the library way ahead of Alice. God I hope she didn't bail on me, I really want to see her. I sat down in one of the high chairs next to the window and spread my history homework out and my book right next to it. I grabbed another book from the shelf and opened it to a random page so she would think I'm the book wormy type. She still wasn't here yet so I went down stairs to the vending machines in the magazine room and got two _Mystics_ to drink hoping Alice likes those drinks and a bag a cheese its and went back up to my table. On my past the check-out counter I saw her.

"Alice!" I speed walked to get to her. She jumped and smiled.

"Hey Jasper!" She exclaimed and noticed the food and drinks in my hand.

"Oh, uh I didn't know what you liked but I got this _Mystic_ drink for you. You don't have to drink it I just thought you maybe thirsty and –"I blabbered like a moron

"No, it's O.K. I love _Mystic _and cheese It." she smiled and took one of the drinks from my hand.

"Right, so uh I put my stuff over here." I walked over to the table.

We were able to get the project done in an hour or so. I packed up everything and put it in my backpack and watched Alice to the same. She looked so distance from reality, like something was bothering her. As she was doing that her iPod fell out of her bag. We both reached down together I saw her sleeve push up and her bracelets move down a little to see a red scar. I only stared. She could cut herself she was too nice to be emo. Alice's eyes met my stare.

"My neighbor is out of down so I have to cat sit and her cat scratched me." She said

"Oh, ok. Are you alright? You seem kind of spacey." I said

"I'm fine I have a lot on my mind." She replied

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked.

"No, it's just the HAS we have to take in May. That's all" she said, "So you like the _Hunger Games?_"

"Huh?" I looked down to the book I pulled off the shelf. It was _Catching Fire, "_Oh its ok not my personal fave but bearable to read.

"Really? I didn't like it. Too much Si-fi and Adventure to my liking, not enough Romance." She picked up the book and fiddled with it.

"What genre books do you like?" I asked

"Teen Romance, Classics, Nicholas Sparks, Some action like _Maximum Ride_. Other books like _the clique _or _pretty little liars._" She replied

"Oh cool, my sister reads _the Clique._ She's like in love with them." I spoke

"I know I got her hooked on them." She smiled.

I saw a person walk by with a 'Green bay Packers' jersey on and spoke what I thought.

"I can't believe the 'Steelers' lost to those Cheese heads!" I exclaimed.

"You a Steelers fan aren't you?" Alice's baby blue eyes looked at me

"Yeah there the best!"

"Get out!" She pointed to the door.

"What?"

"Get out. I HATE the stupid Squealers!"

"Why?"

"There nothing but cheaters and no goods and babies like big Ben. We SO did not break his nose and we don't cheat our way into the super bowl by paying the refs some sort of large amount of money to call bad plays on us when it was clearly the stealers!" She argued. So she's a football fan, yes! It would have really sucked if she was one of those girls that hate football and won't watch it and make me change it to some fashion show.

"So you're a Ravens Fan huh? We did not pay the refs girly. Your team has makes bad plays all by themselves. Big Ben is not a baby! You don't see Flacco playing football with a broken foot. He can't throw a decent ball anyway." I defended.

"Damn straight I'm a Ravens fan but there's others in the world that hate the Steelers. Don't come telling me Flacco's not good. He is awesome and at least he didn't attack anybody!

"Chill darlin' I'm just saying.-"

"No you're not Jasper Hale you know it's true. Suggs should have sacked him hard in the game so he would have been taking off the field." She huffed and her phone went off.

She looked at the phone contently. I could she her eyes start to get all glassy, her mood seemed to drop. She was all happy and now she looked close to the verge of tears.

"Alice? What's wrong?" I asked scooting my chair closer to her.

"Nothing." Her voice broke.

"Yes, something's wrong, let me see." I grabbed her phone and pulled her next to so her head was lying on my shoulder. The text read:

_I'm not a thief you are such a fucking face ass, wow that was all made up. One more thing Rose doesn't count as cool people. You're only god damn friend is Emmett. You can't dance without you're boobs shaking. Like any boy is going to want that. You have a pizza face and horrible hair. You're so short you look like a 5-year old. No boy wants to go out with a 13 year old who looks like a kindergartener. Be sides they want a girl who is skinny and not a size 13 bitch. Wooooooow is all I have to say. Buhhbye_

From Bella Swan

What the hell kind of person would send such a text to a sweet girl? Rose isn't cool, bullshit. Emmett isn't her only friend Alice is friends with almost half the 8th grade. Bella was the girl at our school who made fun of everybody. Alice and Bella were good friends back at the end of 7th grade.

"Alice what happened?" I asked her. She remained silent in her words but she cried into my chest, "Don't listen to her Alice she just looking for trouble."

"Bbbut she's rright. Nnno guy iis gonna want me." He voice muffled into my shirt.

"Let's go outside and get some air O.K? Than we can talk." She nodded and walked with me to the bench outside. It was just Twilight. We sat down and I pulled her close.

"Did you talk to your parents?" I asked

"Yeah they said drop her. Edward won't believe it though! It's worse that she's spending the night since her parents are out of town." Her cries were muffled in my shirt.

"Well listen to them Ali Kat-I mean Alice dammit." I fumbled. Way to go Jazz now she'll never want to go out with you. I heard her small laugh at that.

"You can call me that or Ali or Al but I like your nickname better. Bella and Tanya didn't know I heard if they find that out they'll start something new!"

"Then what brought this on?" I questioned

"Sixth grade cabin choices." She said quietly.

In 6th grade we went to this camp for a week and we got to pick who we wanted in our cabin. I remember that because the next the day there was an 'Anti-Alice' list and all her friends from elementary school signed it plus some other whores. It got passed to me on day in science. I had my pen ready to sign it but I took a look at her and tears in her eyes so I skipped it and gave it back. Rosalie, Emmett and I were the only ones who didn't sign it. Even seventh graders signed it!

"Come to my house." I said quickly.

"What?" she looked at me funny.

"Isn't Bella gonna be at you house tonight?" I asked

"Yeah her and Edward are coming back around-"she drifted away as she check her cellphone, "Now, oh my gosh it's almost nine, my parents must be worried." She hurriedly got up and grabbed her stuff.

"I don't want you to be over there while Bella's there. I'm sure Rosalie would like to have a friend sleep over." I said, "Give me you cell phone." I held out my hand for her phone.

"Jasper you don't have to do that. I can take care of myself." She pleaded.

"Not in that state. Bella will say something about that to you. I don't want you to hurt you're self over her." I reached for her hand a took her phone. I looked through her speed dials until I found 'home' I pressed send and it was Esme who answered it.

"Hello?" Esme asked.

"Hi, Mrs. Esme, this is Jasper Hale and i-"

"She's not hurt is she?" Esme cut me off.

I chuckled, "No Mrs. Cullen. Were at the library and my sister wanted to know if she could sleep over tonight?" I asked

"Yeah that's fine but how come you're calling. Is Ali not there? Why did she leave her cell? Is Rosalie home or are you lying to take-"I cut her off again.

'"Mrs. Cullen I would never do _anything_ to hurt your daughter. Alice is next me, Bella sent Alice a text message that had some crude things to say to her and the State Alice is in I don't want Bella to hurt her in anyway tonight. Rosalie would be more than glad to have her best friend to come over for the night and do whatever the normally do." I said.

"Oh my God what did she say?" she asked.

"Alice can show you when she gets home. Don't mention any of this to Edward he will tell Bella." I said.

"Of course. Doesn't Alice need clothes for tomorrow?" she asked again.

"Rosalie will have more than enough clothes for Alice to borrow Mrs. Cullen." I said

"You can call me Esme, Jasper you're a good boy and I think you're telling the truth."  
"Thank you Esme for understanding, Have a good night." I pressed end and put the phone in Alice's hand.

"Come on lets go." I nodded. She walked her bike beside me and we talk about music for the remainder of the trek to my house. Once we got there I put her bike behind my house and walked her to the side door. Before we walked in I took my thumb and wiped any tears still left of her face.

"Don't worry Ali Kat you're O.K now." I encouraged her and we walked through the doors.

"Hey Jasper- ALI!" Rosalie ran and gave Alice a well needed hug. I walked over to my parents and told them a good bit of what happened and asked if it was O.K to let Ali stay overnight. The agreed and said they wouldn't tell Rose until Alice left.

"Alice you're always welcomed here. You're like a second daughter." My dad said.

"Thank you Mr. Hale." She blushed.

"There's some leftover pizza for you guys if you're hungry." My mom said.

"Thank you Mrs. Hale." Alice smiled.

"Please Alice call me Bethany." My mom said.

"And Eric." My dad included. Alice nodded and whispered something to Rose.

"O.K. Come on, let's find some cute PJ's for you. Omg you can try my new smelly soap. It smells like soda fizz. It's called Fizzy pop. I got the same incent in that smell to put I'm not sure how to use it." Rose gushed and led her away. I just shook my head.

"How much sugar did you give her?" I asked

"None but I would watch the two. You've seen how hyper Alice can get some days and when Rose is Alice all hyped up and forget about what happened tonight at least for a little bit.

**Apov**

I let the hot water run down me and I grabbed the scissors from there drawer and hoped Jasper won't see. I think he likes me and I don't want to ruin it.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry it took so long. My computer is really slow and I thought I posted it back in June cause that's when I wrote it. maybe it got deleted. I have no idea. I'll try to finish this but I think I'm done with' life goes on', I have nothing else to write that you'll want to read

_**Ropv**_

Yay Ali can stay tonight! I walked passed by my brothers room when I heard him mumbling.

"You're so stupid Jazz! Why do you have to make so obvious? She can't handle all this. I'm such an idiot!" he told himself.

"Jazz what's wrong?" I questioned.

"Nothin'." He replied.

"Um ok whatever. So why is Ali here? I know I love to death and she's my wifey and all that but u seem so protective of her." your never like that to anyone except me but I'm your sister so you-"

"Rosalie people are not going to tell you everything all the time. Right now can I just be alone!" Jasper stormed out of the room. I walked downstairs to my basement and pulled out some Freddy movies and all that jazz. 10 minutes later I heard Ali come down with her bracelets on.

"Hey." She mumbled

"Hey so I was thinking it's a Freddy night. That cool?" I asked.

"Yepp." She replied with a smile on her face. I put the movie in and sat in the sofa next to hers. After a while I heard someone open the door.

"Hey Rose can I talk to you?" Jasper asked. I quickly got up to the kitchen to find out what he wanted.

"Yeah?" I asked

"Can I join you guys? Like I heard u were watchin' Freddy." He asked.

"Uh sure but why now all the sudden? You used to ignore us all the time."

"ilikeAlice." He mumbled.

"You like who?" I questioned.

"Alice." He whispered. Get out! My brother likes my best friend!

"Since when? I thought you like Jessica?" I remarked.

"That was last summer before I started emailing her. You can't tell though I think she knows because sometimes I think of cute little pet names for her if she ever when out with me and I accidently called her by one of my pet names for her." he said.

"uhm ok? Sure why not." I replied and walked down stairs to Alice. Jasper went and sat next to Ali she shifted a little to give him room.

**Apov**

Jasper came down and sat next to me. I shifted over some to give him space.

"Thanks." He whispered "you ok?"

I nodded and looked at my wrist real quick. Jasper soon draped his arm across the back of the sofa and around me. I smiled; I really hope he took an interest in me.

I closed my eyes when blackness consumed me whole.

I opened my eyes to see the morning sun has come to greet me. Rose was asleep on the other sofa and jasper is nowhere around. I looked down at my wrist and saw how red my cuts were. I gilded me finger on the marks and winced at the pain. Shit it hurt like a bitch, maybe I can find some Neosporin or something down here. I looked around in the old bathroom and found a band-aid to put on and walked up stairs. The kitchen smelled of chocolate chip pancakes and coffee.

"Morning mom and dad!" I laughed. Rosie does the same at my house.

"Morning Alice." Her mom said. Rose's dad was reading the paper and smiled as jasper walked downstairs.

"Please don't turn into my sister, that's all I need two annoying sisters when I can barely handle one!" he joked. I laughed and sat next to him.

"Sleep good?" he asked me

"Yeah, you?" I asked

"yeah." He replied and ate his pancakes that were now sitting in front of him. He grabbed them before I could get one.

"Jasper Daniel Hale what have we told you! Ladies first!" his mom scolded him.

He looked around the room, "I don't see any ladies in here." He said with his mouth full. He swallowed and continued, "Except the Sleeping monster over there." He looked towards Rose whose hair was a total curly mess.

"Succhiare il cazzo." Rosalie said in itallan. I let out a laugh or two remember what my dad told us. My dad one day he took me and Rose to the mall and he told us two bad words. One in itallan and one in french.

"What does that mean?" Jasper asked

"Nothing you need to know. Alice's dad taught us words in itallan and french." Rose said.

"But i thought your dad was british." Japser turned to me.

"No my grandpa is from italy and moved to britian when my dad was born. My dad didn't come to the Americas untill after i was born. Only me and my mom have an American accent since she lived in ohio untill her family trip to england where she met my dad and they got married there had my bother in england 3 years later they had me. We lived in england untill i was 4 and we moved back here. If you listen carefully to my bother u can still hear him say stuff in british." I said.

"Ok. Cool i guess?" Jasper said.

"Well me and Alice are going shopping. Bye!" Rose draged me out of her house.

Im runing out of ideas. Sorry if its crappy.


	5. Chapter 5

I fast forward a year so they are in high school.

**Apov**

May! Such a wonderful month! Spring is over and summer is on the way! But summer means short-sleeved shirts. My cutting has gotten worse over the year. Now my friends from the middle school and other kids from the High School have joined in on hurting me. Now in my freshman year of High School, the time where you should be happy and joyful has only caused me more pain. Now it's only Rose, Jasper (sometimes), Emmett and I against the world.

"Another damn day and still no dollar" I muttered as I got dressed. A pair of blue skinny Jeans to cover my scars on my right leg and thigh, A black long sleeve shirt crew neck to cover the scars on my right forearm, wrist and shoulder, chest. I straightened my hair again to cover some scars on my neck and went down stairs to see my brother Edward and his girlfriend Bella aka whore.

"Good Morning pipsqueak." Bella said to me. Ignored her and sat down with an apple and my TeenVogue Magazine. Edward still doesn't want to believe me when I tell him about Bella bullying me. I haven't brought it up since me and him fought a few months ago. He knows people pick on my but he's a junior and doesn't want to hurt is popular rep by dealing with his little sister.

"Alice your supposed to say good morning back." Edward remarked.

"I don't have to say shit." I stood up and walked out of the house to the bus stop. My dad Carlisle and my mom, Esme knew about Bella and tried their best to help me but that all ended when Edward got accepted into Harvard Medical School. He is the first kid in the town of Forks to ever get in there. Now all they care about is Edward. "oh Edward this and Edward that-." They don't even speak to me barely since I'm nothing like him. At least I still have my art, Rose, Emmett, and Jasper.

Jasper Hale. Only the hottest boy back in our eighth grade class. Mr. Popular. Mr. Know-it-all. Blonde hair, Deep Brown eyes, hot body (were talking Zac Efron Abs here), 6'3 inches of sexiness. I was just as crazy about him like every other girl about One direction, or that Cody Simpson kid or the Bieber child He's a good friend to have. He knows all about Bella and the others. Hes really tried to make me happy but it's not working. He likes another girl named Jessica Stanley, Cute, Brown Hair, Blue eyes, big boobs. Jasper drooled over her. I knew he would never date me. Short, black hair, brown eyes, a little stocky build, his sister's best friend.

"Lis!" I felt two strong arms wrap around me to pick me up and spin me.

"Emm but me down damnmit!" Emmett McCarty, Rose's boyfriend and my best friend since 6th grade. That when some of the bullying started. It got to the point where I was suicidal. Emmett is the only Reason why I'm still here and not 6 feet underground. Yeah you can say I'm over dramatic, but I never known real love. My parents didn't do crap to help me until 8th grade for a few months. They used to yell at me all the time.

"well I called your name like 50 times and you didn't answer me." Said Rose, my best friend.

"oh, I'm sorry." I say as the bus opens its door and we walk on the bus. I sit in the very back as usual and get things thrown at my head like books, paper, application's to fast food restaurants or places 'where I'm able to get a job that will take my stupidity' as Tanya Denali would say. I sighed as I bored the bus and had things pelted at my face. Finally making sitting down at the back unscratched I breathed again.

"I swear I will kill all of their asses one day." Emmett Said as he put an arm around Rose

"No. Don't Emm I serious. It's only another 3 and a half years. I can manage." I looked down at my Ipod as the sounds of Paramore drowned out the sounds. Eventually the bus pulled into the school parking lot. Waiting at the foot of the steps was Jasper Hale. When I got to the steps I smiled my fakest smile as he helped me down the bus steps.

"You don't need to do that every morning you know. It would save your rep." i looked at him as he put one arm around my neck. I winced a little as he did so.

"Why I like meeting you every day. I only get to see you during History once a day." He smiled crookedly at me. Damn I love it when he does that! I shrugged as we walked in. People stared and I hated it while Jasper warmly welcomed it.

"Jasper! Everyone is staring at us." I mumbled and looked down. My stomach still stuck out a little and my hair started to curl up a little bit. I looked horrible.

Jasper, sensing my anxiety, picked up his pace and walked me to my first period class, Spanish 3. He smiled and leaned down a little almost as if he was going to kiss me.

"See ya Ali." He whispered and walked away

"Bye." I whispered.

The first half of the day went quickly. My Stomach was Growling since I haven't had anything to eaten much for breakfast. I forgot to bring a lunch with me, not like I would have eaten it anyway. I sat down with Rose and Emmett and this girl from my Choir and two my Biology class Ben, Tia and Maggie.. I stayed quiet and looked around while everyone else talked. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone unless I'm alone with Rose and Emm. A few tables over I saw Bella, and Edward eating and laughing, next to them was Tanya and her boyfriend Laurent. Both seemed so happy, not a care in the world. If only they knew. ….

**Jpov**

"Hey man!" my friend Peter and his girlfriend Charlotte said as I sat down. I smiled and sat down with my lunch. I looked over to see if I could fine Alice. I spotted her across the room, hands crossed and staring at her bother Edward. She didn't seem to have eaten anything and Alice was getting awfully thin…

"Hey lover-boy why don't you go sit with her?" Charlotte broke me from my gaze.

"Huh?" I looked at my sandwich embarrassed.

"Go sit with Alice. We know how much you love her!" Peter smiled.

"uhm that's O.K I like sitting here with you and plus someone else is going to join us." I scanned the room for my new girlfriend, Jessica Stanley I just asked her out this morning in homeroom. She's really hot and has grown up more since last year.

"Who?" they both asked as Jessica sat down.

"Hey Jasper!" she smiled.

"Hello Jess." I smiled back politely. "Peter, Char, meet my new girlfriend Jess.


	6. Chapter 6

**Jaspov**

Jess sat down next me and smiled at my two friends.

"oh….uhm…hello Jessica" Charlotte said. The four of us talked for the rest on lunch. I did look over at Alice a few times. She looked really sad. Who hurt her now?

**Apov**

I looked over at Jasper and…..JESSICA! no!

"Rose….."

"I know. He told me today." She tried to comfort me. I just stayed quiet and look down at my quarter eaten lunch.

"I'm not hungry." I pushed away my lunch.

"Alice, you barely ate anything today or yesterday!" Emmett noticed how thin I've gotten. Dammnit

"i have a big breakfast everyday." Another lie. I've gotten better, "I'm going to head to class early. Bye." I got up and walked out, but before that Bella tripped me and poured a milky,ice cream, ketchup substance on me.

"watch where your going shortie. You almost touched me, I don't need your ugly disease." Bella and Tanya smirked at me.

"Bitch I didn't touch you, I wouldn't want to touch your skanky ass anyway. " I stood up. Not meeting the eyes of the 300 people of Forks High. Edward pulled me aside and actually spoke to me for the first time in school.

"Alice, leave bella alone! She's not a skank. "

"She poured shit all over me! I'm your sister Edward. You're supposed to defend me!"

"You can stand up for yourself! Your 15! I shouldn't have to be your body guard.

"Some brother you are. I hate you. What happened to my sweet and loving brother?

"people change Alice, leave us alone. I wish I was an only child."

"Maybe I'll run away or something."

"you'd be better off dead." I watched Edward walk away. I walked out to my locker to find a change of clothes. I usually keep some in there and went to the bathroom, to change.

_You'd be better off dead._ Echoed in my head. Maybe I should. Just end it all. No one would have to care about me. No one would have to feel sorry for me. I looked at my right arm, all scared and red. Just like the rest of my body. I'll do it,

Just have to find when

~thelittlepixie13


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys! I kinda felt bad for the last chapter cause it's so short. So I'll post 7 and 8 together.

**APOV**

I made my decision that summer before sophomore year, I went over Rose's House. To see my best friend one last time, it was fun, until it was time to go home for dinner.

"Rose I love you. You're my best friend." I hug her and smile at her.

"I love you too Ali, and your my best friend too." She hug me back and I waved at her as I got on my bike and rode home.

Dinner was usual, Edward talked about Bella and him, and mom criticized my life. I know she cared but it doesn't seem like it, I'll never be the perfect little girl they used to have. Dad was working again so she really had no one to talk to.

"Can I be excused? I'm full." I push my food away

"Sure Alice." The last thing mom said to me that night,

Once in my room went on the computer, to shut down my facebook. Scrolling through one last time a message popped up.

**Hey Ali, its Jasper, we need to talk….**

I almost wrote back, _i love you Jasper, I just wish you could of seen it. _but I didn't. I stared at the screen until he logged off. Instead of my original purpose I just logged out and took out pen and paper, and wrote a note to my family and friends, and my love

_Dear mom and dad,_

_I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I know my place, I know I'm not wanted, Edward is perfect, but I will Always love you. But I'll never be like Edward. I hope in time you can forgive me._

_Your little girl,_

_Alice._

_Dear Edward,_

_You got your wish, you'll be an only child. I hope your happy, all those times at school you could of told them to knock it off, but you didn't, all you cared about was yourself. Believe me when I saw, Bella is two-Faced, don't trust her. I wish we could have been the way we were when we were little. Laughing and joking. I love you Big Brother, I always looked up to you_

_You little sister,_

_Alice_

_Dear Rose and Emmett,_

_You two are my only friends. You mean the world to me, how can I ever repay you? Rose, you were the only girl that didn't care what I wore, no matter how many times you joked about my taste is clothes, you always cheered me up when the kids at school did nothing but pick on me. I love you like a sister and I hope you can forgive me. Emmett, where to start, you are like my big brother, you picked on me to make me smile, not to tear me down. You always had a smile on your face and a joke to share (even if they were lame.) your dating a wonderful girl. You better not ever break her heart. _

_Love forever and Always, your best Friend_

_Alice._

_Dear Jasper,_

_You were very kind to me in 8__th__ grade. I'm forever thankful you didn't sign that list back in 6__th__ grade. You're a great guy Jasper, any girl would be lucky to date you. I hope you find the girl that's worth it. _

_I love yo __your friend__ sincerely,_

_Alice._

I can't write I love you to Jasper, he's dating Jessica. I can't. my phone rings.- It's Jasper- I let it ring. He can't ruin this. I walk to the bathroom and grab a bottle of pills from the medicine cabinet. I shove half of the bottle in my mouth and walk to my bed and lay down. Everything will soon be over. And no one will care. My phone rings again but I'm too tired to get it. my eyes get heavy, this is it. no more pain. No more cutting, no more my eyes close for good…..

**JPOV**

"Damnit Alice pick up the phone!" I get her voice mail again. the second time, that isn't like her, she always picks up on the first ring. I hope she's ok, I broke up with Jessica. She cheated on me with Mike Newton, but that's a story for another day. I want to ask Alice out. But she's not answering. Then I dialed her house,

"Hello? Esme speaking.

"Hey Mrs. Esme, is Alice home? I called her number twice and she won't pick up. " I say and I pace my room back and forth.

"She's in her room. I'll get her." she said. Not long after I heard her scream.

"What is it?" I exclaim back, but it was drowned out by her calling Edward to dial 911.

"Mrs. Esme? whats wrong?" I run out of my room to get my dad's keys.

"S-sh-she suicide! There's notes!" She sobbed. Alice? Killing herself? That's not her

"I'll meet you guys at the hospital." I hang up and run downstairs, fighting back tears.

"Dad, I need your keys. Its important!"

"Where are you going?" dad asks. I see my sister look up at my urgent tone.

"The hospital." I reply as calmly as I can.

"Why?"

"It's Alice, she….committed suicide. Please let me go!"

"What? No! not Ali! "Rose shouts. Dad wastes no time in giving me the keys.

"Hopefully she's still alive." He says but I can barely hear him as me and rose run out to his car. I get in and drive over the speed limit to the hospital, Rose calling Emmett crying to tell him the news. Tears blur my vision as I park in the parking lot. Rose and I blur out of the car and run to the emergency room. Running to the lady at the desk.

"A-Alice c-cullen, is she here? What room is she in or will be?"

"Alice Cullen? My daughter?" I look up at Carlisle, behind the lady.

"Carlisle!" I hear Esme's voice as she runs in to where Rose and I Stand, "It's Ali, she killed herself." Esme was bawling at this point. As soon as Carlisle heard that he took off running to emergency surgery maybe to help fix Alice, instead of Comforting his wife. We sit in the lobby Crying. Edward pacing back in forth, yelling in hushed tones. Rosalie sits in Emmett's, (who just got here) lap. They both are crying their eyes out. Esme isn't any better. I can hear her damning herself for yelling at Alice. I sit there, silent tears stream my face. Carlisle comes back in three hours later. We all look up at him fearing the girl we all love is dead.

"She's sleeping. We got to her fast enough. She'll be ok."

~thelittlepixie13. R&R always appreciated


	8. Chapter 8

**JPOV**

"Who was the one to check on Alice?" Carlisle asked

"I called her twice, she didn't pick up. Something was wrong so I called your house number and Mrs. Esme saw her." I said.

"Thank you Jasper. That's kind of you. You saved our daughter's life. How can we repay you?" he said, holding a sniffling Esme."

"No need, I'm just glad to hear she's alive." I nod as Rosalie moves off of Emmett and hugs me and sits in my lap like she did when we were growing up.

" ?" a women called Carlisle, "I'm Dr. Weber, the hospital psychiatrist." She sits down next to us. Edward finally joins us, he sits next to his dad, looking like crap. Like it's his fault she attempted it. "I wanted to Talk about Alice and what led up to this. When she wakes I can start a regular therapy. My daughter knows her and i've heard how sweet she is. I wanted to help her.

"That's very kind of you." Esme nodded

"Your Angela's mom? Rose asks.

"Yes." Dr. Weber repiles. Rose nods.

"Were you aware of her depression at all?" Angela's mom pulls out a pad of paper and a pen and starts writing.

"No, she kept to herself." Esme said, "She was upset a lot from when me and Carlisle would talk to her. we tried to help her to learn from Edward, so she won't fall down a bad road. It upset her a lot apparently. The note she left….i love her more the anything." Esme said.

"Notes?" Emmett asks, Edward pulls out a sheet of paper and me and rose and Emmett read our notes. "if only we realized it."

"Was she bullied a lot in school?" Dr. Weber asks.

"Since 6th grade, they made an anti-Alice list. Her old friends turned against her, others but me and Emmett never gave her the time of day." Rose told her.

Ed spoke up next, "My ex-girlfriend bullied her in 8th grade and 9th grade. I was too in love with myself and my reputation, I didn't want my little sister ruining it, so I let bella do it. one day we got into a fight over bella…. I told her she would be better off dead. I didn't think she would do it." he puts his face in his hands and starts crying. Carlisle rubs his back.

"Did you know about the bulling Mrs. And Mr. Cullen?"

"Some, text messages over a year ago. That's it."

"Are you aware she was cutting herself?" Dr. Weber asked. Alice really did it? she was lying, that day at the library. Alice's Family and Rose and Emmett shook their head no.

"I saw lines on her wrist, in 8th grade, she said she was baby-siting her neighbors cats or something like that. I believed her.

"Why would she cut herself?" Esme asked.

"self-Harmers do it to escape the mental pain, but inflicting emotional pain. That's their outlet. They like that feeling, she's cutting the pain away. She feels alone. " Dr. Weber nodded.

"My little girl…" Carlisle drifts off, fighting back his own tears.

"How was the relationship between you and your sister Edward?"

"It was great growing up, but then I became popular so I gave up my best friend to be cool. We fought all the time this year. I was dating the one girl who hurt her the most." Edward looks up.

Dr. Weber finished writing and packed everything up. Thanks for your time, just call me when Alice wakes up. Your very lucky Carlisle and Esme."

"We know." They nod.

"Can we go to her room?" I ask her father.

"Sure." He nods and we all stand up. Mrs. Weber adds one more thing.

"Take it easy on her, don't jump right into questions." She gives us a small smile and leaves.

I looked back at the note she wrote to me. She almost I love you. Why was I so stupid, hiding my feelings away from her. I would date Alice, When she's ready, Cause in Reality, I love her too.


End file.
